A black hole of my very own

Here I go again. Down. Dark. Shattered. I wish I knew why this comes over me. I shouldn’t be depressed, not now: We’re going to Gothenburg for the annual book fair (and for a reason so positive that I’m not even allowed to talk about it!); I have a wonderful girlfriend who stands beside me unwavering; I’m going to publish a short story-collection around the turn of the year; work on the childrens book is progressing very well.

Even so: all I feel is tired, disconnected and joyless. I told my doctor it feels like my brain is shattered in a thousand pieces and I simply cannot put them together no matter how hard I try. Nothing interests me anymore. I write nothing, read very little and my sword collection doesn’t energize me like it used to.

Nothing, I say, alright that’s not entirely true. I still like playing a good board-game, or working on my home made cupboard. At least if I’m not too tired, which seems to be my normal state of mind.

I know I’ll be out of this crap sooner or later, but everything seems to be later right now.

About cgripenvik

Jag är litteratör och gav ut min debutroman "Broder själ, syster flamma" 2014. Den följdes av barnboken "Emma: Flykten från träsket" 2015. Den här bloggen handlar om mitt försök att förverkliga min dröm och om min syn på litteratur i allmänhet.
This entry was posted in Leva sin dröm/Living ones dream. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A black hole of my very own

  1. Marie W says:

    Ha KUL i Göteborg, det kommer nog att pigga på dig. Tråkigt ändå att känna sig så “crappy” ibland, men, som du skriver, det kommer bättre dagar. Se framåt och andas djupt! Pussar till er bägge!

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